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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Who was she…full of divergence…full of convergence…full of everything….

   I wrote this article around 4 yrs ago. This is all about my experience with life. There are many circumstances in life when we feel so lonely and distressed. Though that time has passed but it left me with some wise thoughts. Read and give your opinion.

   “hi…its naveen” these were my first words to her after a long disconnection. I asked her how she was.
     Not only I have to say her sorry but also I have to pay in many indirect ways. Though unintentionally, she was hurt by me beyond the limit. For her, it was not easy to be aware of acts going on behind the curtain.

     I knew she was thinking why I was asking puzzles.
    Yes, I was sorry for what I did. And it was the reflection of my act that she was looking too excited.
   Once a girl proposed me. In the same time, I was shocked by someone, who was residing in me and was just to go outside through my twisty tongue fond of taking bitter tastes in life.
  She was not single in quantity but more and more, but having the same quality.
  Whenever I saw her conjugated with me, I have to control my heart beat, my breathe rate and also it gave me a strong support to get it.

   All of you know that life is not a bad of roses but a bed of thorns. Here you cannot get anything in standing far in the last of a row. In my opinion, there is not a single thing in life that can be obtained by us in our hands in our resting stages.
   We have to catch all the things by jumping higher and higher i.e. by making efforts in the same way like catching the prey. And at that time I was also trying my best.
     I asked her whether she was even my friend or not. As my expectation, she was with a positive answer and really it was a glad occasion for me. Although she was with positive answer, yet I noted that she was totally changed and so she was told for that.
    I was asking her about this change because I was the same as I was many years ago in my character, my behavior, mentality and feelings.

    Everyone every time thinks that there will be the same as they think. And I belong to “everyone” and also an ordinary man. So I was in the same manner that I usually had years ago with her because I have a mentality not to be changed from heart.
  Every time, everywhere, at every occasion, whenever I wanted to contact her after our last meet; she was being busy in many customs and routine works like sleeping and others.  Though it was not so long time of 3 years for an ordinary person but it passed like an era of million years with me.
     At this time all of us have to remember one famous saying that CLOSENESS RESIDES IN HEART.SO NO MATTER HOW BUSY WE ARE OR HOW FAR WE ARE, WE ARE ALWAYS BEING REMEMBERED AND CARED FOREVER BY OURS, if there is a positive interaction among us.
   And I was just in the same way of remembrance but she was not. I had mentioned her in my life every time, every place, at every instant in all of my moments. Suddenly I asked her about the single moment, she ever tried to contact me. Now she didn’t say anything.
        To tell all of you about myself, I’m very emotional guy when alone but in a group I’m with hardest heart. My tendency seems likely to have whole of my world in my arms. You can feel it even at a single occasion with me that I usually have to face a hesitation like big problem while getting rid of a candy cover. I usually attach myself with everything.  Because of my mentality I do not want to detach from any of “MY PEOPLE”. And so I was continuing in that way.
      I am discussing these things with all of you my friends but so sad, these all things had no matter for her and likely to being a silly point and nothing more than it.

    Though there was not a single moment at which I had forgotten her, but afterwards I would surely like to forget her. I knew it was going to be our last conversation and she will forget me easily. I know that for not to be forgotten by her, I would have to take birth in next life.
   Till that time I never proposed her rather I assumed everything because of such intimacy of our relation. But now I came to know that I was in great misconception towards her side. All this happened only and only with me and not with her. It was the first time in my life that I was facing the last in a million miles of row.  I was not able to make any chance for me.
        As I and everyone, she also had her individual life and was free to join or unjoin any community, interaction or relationship. At that time I was in worst depression.

           The same time I heard a voice asking me something. It was nothing but “A RAY OF HOPE”, asking me -
          what is broken inside, why your face is wilting…
          why are you crying alone, to whom you remember…
All of you are thinking that the answer of question I asked ,is the girl to whom I talked after a long time. But no, it is not.
         Who was she…?  She was there with me at those hard times. She is with me now. She will be with me forever. She is nothing but “A RAY OF HOPE”. And this is the answer. She is full of convergence, full of divergence and in real mean full of everything I need. She provided me the ability to stand in the storms of life I had at various times.
        Now I don’t want to remember anymore about the ‘former she’ because the ‘latter she’ is really engaged with me in real means.

          As I, many of you would be facing my type of problem and as they, I also understand their problem. All of us should give the supreme order to the “THE RAY OF HOPE” you facing and not to their past.
You should live in a manner like just start, just begin and then a newer begin once again. Many of you are thinking that I am not on a good path now. But as I think I’m right.
        You should always remember that as you have, the ‘former she’ will also be confronting “a ray of hope” in a welcome like manner. 

      How pleasant it is to see a single sparkle in a dark valley where you are alone with your loneliness. Whenever we face any trouble, we are only with “a ray of hope” and nobody else with us.

        For all those ‘former she’ who are not familiar with their role, ego plays in their life. I want to tell them to think about their life. Do they go through each and every day making sure that each and every action is made with their protection in mind? Ego says, ‘don’t let anyone get closer ’. They are in insidious romance with their ego.

    We often fall into the trap of varying degree of consciousness together; hoping for the best while sowing the worst. Although sometimes just a touch on the shoulder will send a healing message throughout the body. But when you are engaged in such a complex exchange, it is quite difficult to see the true dynamics of relationship. Do you not think at a single moment that YOU ARE PLAYING WITHOUT EXPERIENCE and certainly your desires scaffold around the dramas to bring the wholeness, the completeness.

        In love we have to face such decisions that are not in our comfort zone. All of us set the conditions of what we allow into our life but whenever we fall in love, we allow an unhealthy relationship that have off beam configure for our set conditions.

     “In relationships, we learn as we go and aspire naturally towards certain perfection”.  It takes time to understand, it takes time to manage and it takes time to get bounded perfectly.

        We think that loving any person is the highest possible way of healing. But as I think that we are actually helping by making them free from specific interactions with us. Interactions in life do not change unless you change them. Do you expect your conjugate to change in some days?  No, not at all. We learn through experiences. In relationships we engage in an exchange of emotions, feelings and actions. IN SUCH RELATIONSHIPS WE WILL OBTAIN LEVELS OF TRUTH THAT ARE SOMETIMES UNSETTELING, OFTEN SURPRISING, AND DEFINITELY UNPREDICTABLE. These are nothing but lessons of life. Sometimes painfully, sometimes repeatedly THESE LESSONS OF LIFE WILL COME SURELY AS TIDES AND ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN OUR EXPECTATION.
        It is in the constancy of the maintenance of your will that the relationship remains in continuance according to your desire. We usually do for ourselves and it has the effect on our partner.
         When we have an open heart and open mind then we allow our will to shift and change with new perceptions that eventually comes along with life.       
         At last I want to say “It’s your courage to love yourself enough to command the blessings that are your due.”


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